


Ansia

by Cross_eni



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: AAAA, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, I DONT WANT THIS, I have anxiety this is awful why, Lovino's stressed and I'm tired, M/M, Panic Attacks, fuck writing tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cross_eni/pseuds/Cross_eni
Summary: Panic Attacks are worse than any enemy than Lovino has fought.





	Ansia

Awake. 

He was awake. 

He was awake and shaking and cold and his heart was beating too fast, his chest felt too tight-

Lovino reached over to his nightstand, grabbing his phone, turning it on and cursing the light. 1:03. He put it back down, hugging himself. Calm. He would calm. He always calmed. 

He looked over at Antonio, tempted to wake him. He shook his head. Antonio was such a good and sweet soul, far too good to him. Far too good for him. Lovino sighed, grabbing his phone as he got up, determinedly ignoring the shivers through his body. 

Determinedly ignoring the thoughts of dying. He looked through the news as he made himself some tea to calm down (Kiku was such a life saver). He didn't see anything that meant he was going to collapse-or Feliciano. 

He fought down the pain in his arm, his chest, his jaw. It wasn't real. If nothing was happening, it was just his mind playing tricks. How unfortunate he was bound to the same foolish laws of the mind as the pathetic humans he protected. A creature like him should've been invincible, unable to be harmed by it's own mind-but humans were terribly creative. Or God was. Maybe Satan. Whoever was responsible for cursing him with this existence. 

Death was not coming for him today. 

He laid back on the couch, their main room bathed in light. He sipped his tea, looking through the large windows. This house-he had known this house for so long, yet it really was only a blip in his existence. What was it, 300, 400 years he had stayed here? Only a blip. He had about 2500 more years of memories behind that. 

3000 years? He wasn't that old. 

2700? 

Death should've come for him. 

It came for Mother and Father in the form of a vast and terrible Empire. An Empire he was required to call “Nonno”. His mouth twisted in his thoughts, the panic rising in him again as he felt as he did that day. 

The fire, the colosseum. The roars of the lions and the crowd-he never sure what was louder. Guards holding him back as “Nonno” slaughtered his family. He was left with his cousins and sold into “Nonno’s” “love”. 

Memories did nothing to force down the terrible thoughts of his own death. He sipped his tea, a distraction is what he needed. He flipped through the tv channels. Late night television was bizarre enough to make him forget everything-his panic attack, his terrible memories, the upsetting feeling clawing out of him. 

Nothing worked. 

He tried video games. 

Nothing worked. 

Death. 

Start game.

Nothing worked.

We’re dying.

You win. 

He eventually screamed. Nothing felt good, he wanted to sleep, he can't do anything, and he would pay God to take away whatever pain was seizing him. One moment it's one thing. The next, another. He cried, burying his face in his hands as he heard footsteps running down the stairs, a warm set of arms embracing him. 

“Lovino,” Antonio said in a concerned tone. “What's wrong?”

Lovino cried into his shoulder for a few minutes. “Everything. Everything hurts and I’m stressed and I just want to do nothing forever and ever and ever I don't want this!” 

“Our existence?”

“Yes! I want something different. I've lived a long time and delt with a lot of things, I’ve seen history repeat and rhyme, I hate this. I hate pain. I hate feeling like this. I hate everything.” 

Antonio pulled him into a cuddle, smiling at him softly. “You're not weak, you know. You're just prone to overthinking things. You care so much about everything you do and so this causes you to be like this. You want to keep yourself-your people-safe.” He tilted his chin up, “You really are a kind person, Lovi.” 

Lovino pouted up at him, “Why are you like this?”

“What?”

“Seeing the good in everything.”

“Because no singular thing is wholly evil.”

“Except for fascism.” 

“Except for fascism.”

The two laid there for a bit, cuddling close. “What time is it?” Antonio asked. 

Lovino grabbed his phone, looking at the time. “3:26.” 

“That counts as an able to go back to sleep time right?” Antonio asked, rubbing his back and side. 

“Yeah I think so,” Lovino shrugged. Antonio smiled brightly, picking him up and taking him upstairs and back to their bedroom. “Woah! H-hey!” Lovino laughed a bit as Antonio ran down the hall gleefully, tossing him halfway across the room to land safely in the bed. 

“How about that, my little prince?” He asked with a grin. 

Lovino kicked his shin as Antonio laid next to him, draping an arm over the Italian’s abdomen. 

“Rest, tomorrow's another battle against It.” 

Lovino closed his eyes, leaning against him. “I’ll conquer Ansia.” 

“Yes you will, my little tyrant.”


End file.
